Conflict Resolution
Healthy conflict resolution is a critical leadership skill needed at all levels of management. Learning to manage conflict requires a willingness to accept a certain degree of confrontation. This may seem counterintuitive, but if difficult situations are evaded, they can snowball into crisis and erode teamwork. Avoidance can heighten tension, and it can also lead to “artificial harmony”, which is a dangerous state of existence.
Patrick Lencioni, in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable , pinpoints “artificial harmony” as an obstacle to healthy communication. All too often, people are quick to sweep conflict under the rug, for the sake of preserving peace. This behavior leads to resentment and can create a toxic environment.
As a leader, don’t avoid conflict, lean into resolving it!
The prerequisite for healthy conflict resolution is trust. If you find yourself in need of building trust, try to do so by encouraging open dialogue, displaying emotional control, and focusing on facts rather than agendas. Choose your words carefully and avoid using degrading or aggressive language. Trust is a critical but delicate element to manage. Bolstering confidence in leadership begins by laying building blocks to promote open and honest conversation.
Start with being truthful.
Set expectations, nurture channels of communication, encourage collaboration, and get actively involved in creating an engaged and positive atmosphere. Use tact and diplomacy to avoid insulting people through unmitigated truth telling. Simply stating the truth does not mean that you’re helping or resolving a matter. When situations are awkward or emotionally charged, communicate in a nonjudgmental, relaxed, and friendly way.
Approach interpersonal exchanges with sensitivity and negotiate based upon other’s reactions. Pay attention to tone, and skillfully adjust your verbal and nonverbal language to let the person know that you recognize their point of view.
Practice finding the right balance of speaking truth and love.
Too much truth can be hurtful and too much love can be harmful. Delivering the optimal amounts of both will encourage transparency and hopefully allow people to feel comfortable speaking up. When team members feel comfortable speaking up, they are more likely to feel confident in making course corrections and improvements.
Learn how to apologize.
Unnecessarily apologizing all day long is not an effective way to lead or build confidence in your leadership. On the flip side, never acknowledging your own mistakes or offenses against others will create tension and animosity.
An appropriate apology delivered with grace, can have far reaching impacts.
Conflict resolution is an ever-changing landscape that requires a leader to observe situations from a neutral standpoint, deploy active listening, use emotional control, and show empathy when finding solutions.